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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Knock It Off, Oscars

Every year, Hollywood jerks itself off. From the expensive clothing to the ridiculous red carpet walks, it's a huge dick yanking to self. Here's the deal, Oscar, you don't win at art. It's not a competition. Art is meant to entertain. It's not a sport. It's there for interpretation. You can't decide who was most arty. That's just stupid.

Most of what hits theaters is shit these days. In the last year, I've only been compelled to see one movie in theaters. I find so much more on the independent front. By independent, I don't mean it's made by some celebrity that used twenty million dollars out of his own pocket. I mean real independent movies made for little money by true outsiders. Movies you refuse to acknowledge

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Knock It Off, Disney and Marvel Comics

Back in August, I got to meet a comic book creator who is very special to me. His name is Gary Friedrich, and he created the only comic book I ever really read. He's the man responsible for Ghost Rider. I interviewed him for Cinema Head Cheese, and thanks to a giant t-shirt booth, the audio is no good. I will say, however, that he was a very pleasant guy who took pride in his creation. HIS creation. That's something that you, Marvel Comics, and your new owner, Disney, seem to have forgotten.

A few years ago, Friedrich sued you over copyrights for Ghost Rider. Apparently, he wasn't given his share from the movie. You argued the issue, but you really have no place to do so. See, when you originally printed the character in an anthology called Marvel Spotlight #5, you credited Friedrich as the creator of Ghost Rider, and you never copyrighted the character. Therefore, Friedrich has always and still does retain the copyright. Unfortunately, you and a judge that I can only assume is in your corporate pocket seem to disagree.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Knock It Off, Rodney Harrison

I understand that it's tough to watch your former team lose the Super Bowl. I'm sure it's especially rough when they lose to the Giants for the second time, especially since you were on the team the first time. What you shouldn't do is shit on the way another player deals with that loss. You criticized Rob Gronkowski for dancing at a club after his team's Super Bowl loss, and you really have no place. You weren't half the player he is.

I know you were good at what you did, but this is a guy that's coming off of two NFL records in his sophomore year in the league. Do you know what award you won twice? Dirtiest player in the league. You were highly regarded as a scumbag, and now you only extend that legacy of douchebaggery. You are a dick, and you should shut your stupid mouth. I'll bet you don't know why, but I'll happily tell you.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Knock It Off, David Cross

This one pains me. It really does. I love comedy, and I'm a fan of yours. I like your stand-up. I own your albums. I like Arrested Development, The Incredibly Long Show Title That Ends in Todd Margaret and Mr. Show. Run, Ronnie, Run is under-appreciated. I think you have a great comedic voice that needs to be heard. That being said, your recent complaints about working on the latest Chipmunks movie make you look like a ridiculous fool.

I heard it on a podcast, then on another, and then on a talk show. You began to tell the tale of how you were made to work in a scene on a cruise ship, and you wore a mascot suit for your scenes. You talked about it as though your captors were shoving bamboo under your fingernails while gang raping your girlfriend in front of you. The big complaint was that your face wasn't visible, so the asshole producers could have hired a stand-in to do your scenes. They could have, but they were already paying you.